Lyrics

TRACK 1 “HUMBUG”
HUMBUG CHORUS
(sung off stage - acapella)
SNOWFLAKES THAT FALL
AT CHRISTMAS
SO BEAUTIFUL
JUST LISTEN
THEY LAND ON THE GROUND
LIKE WISHES
SAID WITH NO SOUND
CHRISTMAS HAS BEGUN

AND THE HYMNS FROM THE HALLS ECHO GHOSTLY UNDER LAMPED FLICKERED NIGHT
ANGELS DANCE IN THE LIGHT GRACEFULLY
SNOWFLAKES THAT FALL

A LONDON VILLAGE
NARRATOR
Once upon a time of all the good days of the year it was Christmas Eve and Tiny Tim was off to meet his father whom he hoped would soon finish work.

This City was alive with activity. The good folk in merry anticipation of the Yuletide festivities. There was an air of cheerfulness that diffused the winter cold. The shovelers were jovial and full of glee.
(ducking a snowball)

Whoof! A facetious snowball tossed with a hearty laugh. And the grocers, oh the grocers, their spices intoxicating an overwhelming the winter chill. And the carolers like angels their wings warming the hearts of all who heard their song.

CHORUS
CHRISTMAS, CHRISTMAS

NARRATOR
CHRISTMAS EVE
YOU CAN FEEL IT IN THE AIR
CHRISTMAS EVE
AH


Now in this Village there was an old cold miser
MISTER SCROOGE, WAS A “SCROOGE”
KEPT HIS BUSINESS TO HIMSELF
NOTHING GIVEN WAS HIS GAIN
EXCEPT ANOTHER’S PAIN
DEBTOR 1
Please give us another day. Just one more.
DEBTOR 2
We’ll repay you, promise.
SCROOGE
Humbug!
NARRATOR
MISTER SCROOGE, HE WAS THE COLDEST
NOT A PENNY LEFT HIS CLUTCH
NOT A SHILLING NOT A POUND
KEEP YOUR DISTANCE FROM HIM
STREET PERSON
Please sir, spare a penny for a hot cup of soup on this very cold but very kind day?
SCROOGE
HUMBUG, HUMBUG, HUMBUG, HUMBUG
NARRATOR
NOTHING GIVEN, WAS HIS GAIN

SCROOGE
HUMBUG, HUMBUG, HUMBUG, HUMBUG
THAT YOU’RE POOR I’M NOT TO BLAME
NARRATOR
And charity was definitely out of the question
STAR OF WONDER
CAROLERS
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU, TO YOU
PLEASE GIVE TO THOSE WHO ARE HUNGRY AND-
SCROOGE
BAH HUM, BAH HUM, HUMBUG
SCROOGE’S OFFICE
NARRATOR
MISTER SCROOGE, HE HAD A CLERK
ROBERT CRATCHIT WAS HIS NAME
WORKED HIM NEARLY TO THE BONE
RARELY LET HIM GO HOME
CRATCHIT
Mister Scrooge, would it be too much to ask, seeing how it is Christmas Eve and all that-
SCROOGE
NOT ANOTHER PEEP OUT OF YOU
MISTER CRATCHIT DO YOU HEAR
CRATCHIT
But Mister Scrooge, my family-
SCROOGE
PUNCH A CLOCK AND PINCH A PENNY
TIME IS WASTING IS THAT CLEAR
CRATCHIT
Yes it’s clear, I suppose-
NARRATOR/CHORUS
AH, HUMBUG, HUMBUG

Cratchit stoked his faltering fire. Only a single ember remained alive. He added another coal from his dismal ration and the fire died with an uneventful wisp of smoke. All he could think about was his poor lame boy Tiny Tim who waited outside.
TIM
SNOWFLAKES, FALLING
AT CHRISTMAS TIME
SOPRANOS
TINY TIM CATCHES SNOWFLAKES IN (THE) WINTER
WHEN THE SUN HIDES BEHIND
THE CLOUDS OF WHITE
TINY TIM CATCHES SNOWFLAKES AT CHRISTMAS
CHRISTMAS
‘TIS A GIFT THAT HE BELIEVES
‘TIS A GIFT THAT HE BELIEVES

NEPHEW, FRED
Uncle Scrooge!
WHAT AN EVENING
CHRISTMAS EVENING
COLD IN THE AIR, THAT STIRS THE SOUL
PIPING HOT
THE CHESTNUTS ARE GLOWING
ON THIS GREAT DAY
CHRISTMAS EVE
NARRATOR

Scrooge’s nephew Fred, so full of the hope of the season. So like Scrooge’s sister Fann, ready with kindness and charity. But not even he could warm the cold that froze Scrooge’s old features, nipped his pointed nose, shriveled his cheek, made his eyes red, his thin lips blue and spoke out shrewdly in his grating voice-
SCROOGE
Bah-humbug!
FRED
Christmas a humbug" you don't mean that I am sure.
SCROOGE
I do! Merry Christmas. What right have you to be merry? What reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough!
FRED
Come then. What reason do you have to be dismal? You're rich enough. Though Christmas has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe it has done me good and I say God bless it!
SCROOGE
You keep Christmas in your way and I'll keep it in mine which is not at all!
FRED
Why not dine with us?
SCROOGE
Why did you marry?
FRED
Because I fell in love.
SCROOGE
“Because I fell in love” good afternoon!
FRED
Well the invitation still stands as it will every year uncle. Merry Christmas!
SCROOGE
Every fool who goes about with Merry Christmas on his lips should be boiled in his own pudding and buried with the stake of Holly through his heart. Good afternoon!
FRED
Uncle!
SCROOGE
Good afternoon. Well what are you looking at Cratchit!
NARRATOR
Scrooge’s nephew stopped to bestow his greetings on Scrooge’s poor clerk who was momentarily warmed from the low temperature that hung about the office and didn’t thaw one degree at Christmas, and, justifiably inspired, he summoned the courage.
CRATCHIT
DEAR MISTER SCROOGE
IF IT’S CONVENIENT
MAY I GO HOME FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR
SCROOGE
BAH HUM, BAH HUM, HUMBUG.
Go!
CRATCHIT
Sorry sir?
SCROOGE
Go. And be here all the earlier in the morning. And it’s not convenient.
CRATCHIT
No not convenient-
SCROOGE
If I was to stop a half crown for it, you’d think yourself ill used.
CRATCHIT
Yes sir.
SCROOGE
And yet you don’t think me ill used when I pay a days wages for no work.
CRATCHIT
No sir, never ill used-
SCROOGE
A poor excuse for pinching a man’s pocket every twenty fifth of December.
(Gentlemen enter)
Well? What do you want of me?
GENTLEMAN 1
DEAR SIR
SOME PROVISION FOR THOSE WHO ARE POOR
WHEN THEY FIND THEMSELVES IN NEED
GENTELMAN 2
WHEN THEY HAVE NOWHERE TO TURN
BOTH GENTLEMEN
ON THIS GIVING TIME OF THE YEAR
SCROOGE
Are there no prisons, are there no workhouses? And the treadmill and Poor Law are still in operation I hope?
GENTLEMAN 1
Yes but-
SCROOGE
Good.
GENTLEMAN 1
-but many will die if-
SCROOGE
Die? All the better and decrease the surplus population. Good afternoon Gentlemen.
NARRATOR & GENTLEMEN
HUMBUG, HUMBUG